A Kiss Is a Terrible Thing To Waste

Posted on Mon Sep 22nd, 2025 @ 3:22am by Petty Officer 2nd Class Hunter Kawolski

2,361 words; about a 12 minute read

Mission: Below Decks
Location: Arboretum

The two stopped int he middle of the small bridge over the artificial river. Though engineers tried, neither felt the attempt at creating a moonlit night sky was very successful. The sound of insects was also somehow artificial. It was a good try to recreate a bit of green space on the ship but both grew up in a village surrounded by actual nature. They'd long since been attuned to small things that a starship arboretum couldn't replicate. But it was an attempt and overall, aside from the Holodeck, it was a good effort.

"I'm sorry I couldn't get the Holodeck scheduled for tonight," Kawolski said. He stood looking over the small, shallow stream. He gripped the railing tight, keeping his hands before him. "I tried."

"I'm sure you did," she said. Weaver Boothe, his betrothed. Her tone seemed distant, almost as if she were wishing to be elsewhere. He glanced at her. She wore a modest dress that covered shoulders and arms and went down to her ankles. A belt cinched the waist, showing off the trim and curved figure. Kawolski turned to look away quickly, his gaze going back to the river and the reflected artificial moonlight.

"I'll work harder to make sure we have it next week," Kawolski said. "We could have dinner on the porch while the sun sets." His hand moved a couple inches to the right, closer to hers. His pinky almost touched hers. Almost. Yet he still felt the warmth of her.

"That sounds pleasant," she answered, turning to look at him, her body angled now. It meant that her hand was removed from the railing. Kawolski brought his hand back in front of him.

"But you're upset that we couldn't go there tonight?" he asked.

"No. While I would have liked it, I understand. It is a large village of people on this ship, and but a few of these hologram rooms. We can't expect to go there whenever we please. Though," she gave a half smile as she pushed a lank of her golden brown hair behind her ear and away from her face. "Wouldn't it be nice if we could? You've done such a wonderful job on the homestead. And to think so many came to help you as family."

Kawolski smiled. He also turned, his hip leaning against the railing. Her face was bright in the moonlight, her dark brown eyes still seemed to be shining. But, even as she spoke there seemed to be sadness in her.

"Then what is wrong?" he asked. "You've been sad all evening."

She put her hand on his forearm and gave it a short squeeze. Kawolski fought to keep from gasping. "You are to be my husband," she said, now giving a small, slow rub. Kawolski adjusted his stance out of necessity. "Yet I do not act as a proper wife should."

"We're not married yet," Kawolski said, his breathing quickened. How he wanted her words to be true and the two of them have already made vows. Then they could retire to their home and the warmth that flowed through him could be quenched.

"I know," she said, turning back to put her hands on the railing. "But we are betrothed, and that's as good as married in the eyes of the Lord. In all ways but the most sacred." She gave him a quick glance. Not for the first time he wondered if it was as hard for her to wait until they made their vows and pledged each other into the sacrament of marriage. He knew it was hard for him, being a man came with strong urges. Urges that he must keep under control to prove his worth as a husband.

"I should have prepared dinner for you. And Malinda and Terry and," a smile split her face now, "little Jeremy of course. What I could make that would be proper for him to eat."

"Oh," Kawolski said. He was disappointed even though he knew she wasn't referring to...anything else. No, she was a good woman and worthy to be a wife. He considered himself lucky that she was betrothed to him. That she was as dedicated to their betrothal as was he. "It's fine though. You didn't enjoy our meal?"

"It was...adequate..." she said. "I enjoyed the flavor and the experience, but I would have enjoyed it more had I prepared your dinner with my hands. You're working hard in order to be in a position to provide for us when we are married. I should honor that. And it will give me purpose."

"What do you mean?" Kawolski asked.

She shook her head, the lock of hair dislodging from behind her ear once more. "I shouldn't have spoken on it. It is of no matter, please forget I said anything."

He took her hands now, holding them tight. He was glad of the darkness otherwise he was sure she would see writ upon his face the effect she had on his body and heart. She tried to pull away, but he held her hands tight, putting them together and holding her. He took a step closer. How could she not feel the heat of his need for her as it baked off him? "No, please, tell me what bothers you? I want you to always share your thoughts with me, not matter how bad you think they are."

He saw the reflected light in her glistening eyes. "When we were at home, I had many things to do and fulfill my day and night. There were chores and it was the way it is meant to be. But then I joined you on the other ship and...please, forgive me if I become unseemly!" She tried to pull away but he kept his strong grip. She wound up closer to him.

"You could never be unseemly," he dared not speak above a whisper. She was close to him. Too close. It was dangerous in the state he was in. The state she put him in. "Please, tell me what I can do to keep you happy."

She gave a low sob. "When we were on the other ship. I 'worked' for the first time. It wasn't just chores or helping my kin. Yes, it was only caring for children but I enjoyed it. I liked being around the children and having them around me. And I earned salary for it. In...'credits'. It allowed me to provide things I needed and wanted. And the children..."

Kawolski remained quiet as she sobbed once more. "I don't have that here. Malinda allows me to care for Jeremy while she works and I do not begrudge it. I love him. He's such a beautiful, perfect expression of our Lord's mercy and grace. I find myself wanting to provide for him as if I were actually his aunt -"

"You are," Kawolski interrupted. "Baldwin is such that I consider him a brother. That makes his child my kin and therefore yours as well. You are< his aunt."

She smiled but it was sad. "Thank you, you are wonderfully kind. I have been working on making a new blanket for him. He's almost outgrown his others. But I ran out of yarn yesterday and I have no more credits to obtain more yarn from these replicator machines. It only reminds me that I have no purpose nor ways to fill my days when I'm not minding Jeremy."

"You're sad because you ran out of yarn?" Kawolski asked, not sure he understood her correctly.

"Partly, yes," she answered.

"But, I have credits. Why didn't you mention this? You could have obtained more y yarn. As much as you needed and I have credit to give you."

"I did not earn those credits," she said.

"You have. Because I earned them. You are my betrothed, that makes them our credits. I have nothing that is not also yours. Well, maybe my rifles and that's because they actually belong to the Federation."

She gave a snort of laughter. "Then I shall not lay claim to your rifles. I shall endeavor not to be jealous that you have things in common with the Federation. I did not wish for you to think I wanted only to take from you and what you work to earn."

"You don't," he said, staring at her, still wondering how she doesn't feel the danger of impropriety. Reluctantly he let her go. He meant to step away, to step back but though his mind said for him to do it repeatedly, his feet did not move.

Neither did she.

"I'll...I..." he stammered, trying to keep his mind free of distractions. Of activities that were wrong. "I'll ask Lieutenant how to make sure to give you access to my accounts. Then you can get the things you..." need, like I need, like I very much, "want."

He forced himself to take that step away from her. Then another to be safe. He held his breath. He turned to look away from her. "I'll also see if there's something you can do on the ship. If that's what you want."

"Does the idea of me working repel you?" she asked. "That it causes you to turn away from me?

"What?" he asked. "No." he want to take her hands again but stopped himself. "No! You do not repel me at all. It's the opposite. It's...I am attracted to you. Powerfully attracted to you. You are beautiful and kind and...I..." he shook his head. "We should not have stayed together when our chaperoned went home."

"You..." her gaze was fixed on him. "You, desire me?"

"Powerfully," he breathed. There, it was out. She would know that he was debasing himself in his impure thoughts of her. That he was not as he should be in his consideration of her.

Yet, she took a half step closer to him. She placed her palm on his chest, over his heart. How it was not thrown off by the quick, strong beat of it, he didn't know. His breath caught in his throat as his body responded. He didn't think it could respond more forcefully than it had. He was wrong. Very, very wrong.

"Physically?" she asked, putting her hand on his chest again, a single finger stroked through the shirt he wore, across his nipple. He couldn't stop the groan that escaped him. "You don't desire just to fulfill our betrothal? You..." She again removed her hand and pushed her hair away from her face again. She looked up, staring straight at him. He shifted his stance again, trying to dislodge the worst of the discomfort.

"No," he said, again it was just a breath. That was all he felt he could get out.

Tears fell from her eyes. "I desire you as well. In all ways." She closed the gap between them. He tried to keep them separated so she couldn't know the depth of his desire. It was her turn to stop him as she slipped her hands around his waist, clasping them at the small of his back, trapping him. Pulling him against her. Removing any secrets he may be trying to hold at that moment. He leaned down, she stretched to met him. Their lips locked.

Kawolski burned, joining his heat to hers.

"We can't," he breathed as they parted. It was the hardest thing he's ever done in his life to step away again, but he let his hands trail slowly away from her. "Not..." he held his breath once more as she rubbed against him, both her hands on his chest, not just rubbing but squeezing. "Weaver, we..." another groan and he reached around, pulled her tight against him. He bent and kissed her hard. Almost as hard as she kissed him. The seconds seemed to go on forever.

"Since the moment I saw you return home from training to be a soldier," she moaned when they broke. "I was sure I desired you. I desired to be your wife. To bear your children."

"Children?" he asked. "You want children?"

She leaned away from him. "Don't you?"

"Very much, maybe then I'll stop being jealous of Baldwin and his son. But a daughter as well. A son and a daughter. Or several of each."

"I want children." They kissed again. The third and fourth ones were even better. Ever. It was wrong. It went against the teachings of the Elders, their convenentss and the laws of their Lord and Father. But it was too late to think of that now, later than he ever would have thought possible. The shame he would feel if his mother found out about his behavior. Or his father. But even that wasn't enough. He never even thought to he knew how a kiss was a terrible thing to waste.

"We..." he said again moving away from her. "We have to wait. Until we are married."

"Yes," she said, stepping away herself. "We...must wait."

"I would marry you now if I could," he said.

She smiled. "I feel that you speak the truth."

"We should..." he said, shaking his head, trying to clear his thoughts so he could think once again. He felt lightheaded though, his heart pounding, his body burning. "We should..."

"Yes," she breathed, showing that she too was having problems. "Yes, we must." She brought her fingers to her lips, as if holding the moment of the kiss as something to savor. Something to treasure. Forever.

"I'm gonna..." he said.

She nodded and took another step away. Reluctant. Forced. He did the same. Then, even harder, he forced himself to turn away from her. To keep walking away. Once he was back in the corridor and heard the other door leading out of the arboretum close, he practically ran for the turbolift and his quarters.

And the sonic shower. Set to the coldest setting possible. Which was barely enough to quench the fire in which his body burned.


PO 2nd Hunter Kawolski
Security

Weaver Boothe
betrothed to Kawolski

 

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